Question: About six months ago my fiance broke...

Trust is a strange thing, usually we give it to the people who don't deserve it but struggle giving it to the ones who do. I think the first thing to begin trusting again, is for you to remember none of this is your fault. I strongly believe things happen for a reason, whether or not that reason is apparent at the time or at a later date, but it seems to be the way things are. It's right that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. You need to trust yourself before you can trust anyone else. Eventually you'll trust again, but it's only natural to want to protect yourself from hurt...forget the risk, forget the fall, if it all works out, it'll be worth it all...:)
I hope one day you do find someone worthy of your trust, and that when that person comes along you'll be able to give it to them. :)

"It's better to have loved & lost than never to have loved at all". I was with my ex for 22 years. I was completely devestated when he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore, but I regret none of it. It was an extremely painful experience to go through, but I'm not alone. There are plenty of other women and men who have gone through the same thing. I have 2 beautiful children because of the relationship we once had. I am dating again, and I want companionship and love again. Why would I deprive myself? For fear of getting hurt? It's well worth it. I might not have said so in the beginning of the end of the last dreadful break-up, but after a heart-wrenching, long recovery...I'm OK now. I'm OK with myself & I miss giving and recieving love. It is worth the risk...even if it ends.

I've been in a similar situation, and it's really really hard to learn to trust someone after you've been betrayed by someone you were in love with... The first thing you've got to do is realize that not every single guy is an asshole, but every single guy is a pig... guys are going to look at girls regardless of whether or not they're attracted to them...

Once you realise that, you've got to think about what you really want in a relationship... Perhaps you don't want to settle down for more reasons then just your ex... you might just not be ready to get close to someone but still want the relationship... it's a bad place to be in, and i'm currently there myself.. you've gotta learn to trust your instincts, and go with what your heart and your mind tell you.

When you dumped your fiance you may have been harboring a bit of fear that he was going to cheat on you too, since your ex did, and those negative emotions probably were making the relationship turn a bit sour... if that had nothing to do with it, then you should figure out why it didn't work with him as well...

Long story short, what you need to do is learn to trust yourself, and listen to what your instincts tell you. if you have a feeling the guy is cheating on you, then most likely he IS cheating on you. Once you can trust and love yourself completely, don't go looking for love... let it find you.. you might be a bit surprised when it comes out of no-where.

I have found that in order to be available for a new love....you've got to be available for yourself. Have you taken time..to just be You? That is very important. I know we all see these women who go from relationship to relationship..and so on. That's not healthy...atleast I don't think it is. In order to be able to trust again..will take you knowing yourself well enough. If you are uncertain about the trust you can give..perhaps you are uncertain with trusting yourself to make the right choice when it comes to dating. I am sure you will eventually make the right choice for you.. you just have to find it. Everyone here has excellent ideas and advice. I love this site for all the great ideas we all have to share. Best of Luck !

my ex & i were together for 7 years & i broke up with him when i found out he had been cheating on me for 9 months. i was scared that i would end up having trust issues because of him/our relationship.
after being on my own for a while, i was lucky enough to meet a great guy. i watched for red flags but made sure that i wasn't so guarded that i pushed him away. once i got to know him, it was obvious that he was an amazing guy & i could trust him completely. i've been with him for over 2 years now & i couldn't be happier!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
it's scary to put yourself out there after you've been hurt but if you don't do it, you could miss out on someone wonderful. be on the look out for anything that might be a sign your headed for another bad relationship or that he's not the right guy for you but also be open to trusting again.

Number one thing to do...forgive the cheater and forgive yourself. It might not be the easiest thing to do but if you do it you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders immediately. If you truly forgive the boyfriend of three years then you won’t be harboring negative emotions for him which could affect your everyday life negatively. If you forgive yourself then you must understand that it wasn't your fault that he cheated on you. You are good enough, you are beautiful, you are fun, and you are a human being capable and deserving of love, trust, honesty, and faithfulness. You must love yourself! Next, take it slow. If the guy is interested, he'll stick around whether there is booty involved or not. Make him wait and watch how he reacts...if he gets angry, frustrated, or tries to push he is NOT the guy for you. Don't be with someone just to have a relationship with someone. Also, don’t seek out love...more often than not, if it is meant to be it will find you. If you put a positive and confident vibe out there then you will attract the same. These are just a couple pointers...hope it helps! Good luck sweets!

I have trust issues too. As a child I went through alot of things that a child shouldn't go through. My friends have worked hard to get it to the point where I don't try so hard to push people away, and they always remind me when I start doing it. (It gets annoying, but it helps) My boyfriend is very supportive. He understands my trust issues and does what he can when he can. He is very patient and loving. It will take a while, it is never easy to jump into something that has trust involved, but be patient and someday it will come back.

Maybe you have to look at why you broke up. Did you break up with your fiance over a trust issue or was it something else entirely? I understand why the no-trusting thing came from your ex, but maybe its not trust that's really an issue right now but more of whether or not you feel comfortable giving yourself to another person without having your heartbroken. I think after two long relationships like that maybe you should just date, nothing serious, and see where that takes you. You can't be expected to jump into a new relationship with someone full force after all of that. Just try and enjoy being single and someone will eventually come along, and you will know

I dont think trust comes with the arrival of a new love. Giving your trust is like giving another piece of yourself to that person, its hard and can be risky, but love is also risky. To find it, your just going to have to take that risk. Of course you dont want to pure yourself into a relationship that you dont feel totally comfortable with though. Think of it this way, if a guy gives you a reason not to trust him...thats when you start questioning.

trust is a matter that can't be forced...when u will find ur right man u will start trusting urself coz u too will be esp for him so he needs to labor hard to get you...time heals wound...same way at right person's arrival u will automatically trust him don't worry...