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Question: Okay so, basically the problem is that...

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Posted by Anonymous on December 16, 2009 at 12:16 PM

Okay so, basically the problem is that my boyfriend never compliments me. Is this normal? My friends have said that it's a bit out of order, for instance even when I dress up to go out, all he says is "Have a nice time." He says he doesn't do it because I can't accept compliments so he doesn't bother trying, but it's making me feel even more ugly. What should I do?

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  • Posted by Anonymous on January 18, 2010 at 4:23 PM
It is common for boyfriends to not compliment you but just to make sure that there isn't something else going on you should ask him about it.
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One of my past bfs never complimented me on anything and it was okay. I knew he cared about me and he knew I cared for him. But my point is that you seem to be fishing for compliments, if you can see what I'm saying. Some men are quieter than others, and may show you their care in other ways, you just may not notice it. Like with hugs or gifts, i.e. If the compliment thing is your only problem, just let it go, as long as he's not putting you down. Its normal to not be complimented all the time by that special person. Just keep giving him your love! =)
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  • Posted by Emma Jones on December 17, 2009 at 3:49 PM
My boyfriend compliments me constantly. At first, I had trouble taking them, but after he explained that he really did feel the way he said, and that he just wanted to show his adoration, then it was easier.
I do usually reply with 'aw, shut up,' but not in a mean way. Just, learn to accept the compliments. If he still doesn't up the compliments, then start complimenting him more. He'll probably return the favor.
But all in all, if he's with you, he probably thinks you're beautiful anyway. Don't count on your significant other to give you self-esteem. That's not the reason to be in a relationship; it's just a perk. And if you don't feel good about yourself to begin with, it's not going to be a factor at all.
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You have to explain him how you feel and if he's really indifferent for everything on you..you have to decide if this relationship must be continued..But he maybe his character and compliment sb.... if you are too unaccepted on compliments he's right!!!!!!
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I totally agree.
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Well though many guys tend to compliment, some expect the girl to know these things. They may expect you to know they think you look nice from a certain smile or something. Maybe that is his way of silently complimenting you. I would reccomend just talking to him about it.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 16, 2009 at 5:27 PM
Wow this is a stupid question, he already told you the answer. learn to take compliments. When he compliments you, give him a kiss and say thanks babe. Hell compliment you all the time. If he tells you that you look nice and you say, oh no i dont your just lieing, hes not gonna compliment you!
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  • Posted by Winnie on December 16, 2009 at 2:56 PM
you deserve it if you keep going, "oh no im not, im fat, blah blah" whenever he used to complement you. Theres a reason he used to tell you your lovely.
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I get this. The only times I remember my boyfriend complimenting me was when I got dressed up for his graduation (we had had a talk about him not complimenting me the previous day) and then on our year anniversary. He calls me gorgeous and beautiful all the time (as in, "hey gorgeous. how are you?") but usually not the nice kind of compliments. To be completely honest though, as long as you feel comfortable in yourself, you don't need somebody else to compliment you. Him being with you should be enough for him to show that he finds you attractive.

If you've talked to him about it and he still doesn't understand, but you really love him, then you'll just have to accept him for who he is. Perhaps he finds it hard to compliment people (especially since he says you don't take them well). You can't chance people so don't try.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 16, 2009 at 1:10 PM
Learn how to accept compliments. I was kind of the same with my last boyfriend. If he said I was pretty I would say naaaaah. But if you say "aww thank you" and smile or give him a kiss, he'll probably be much more willing to give them to you.
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