Question: Sex just isn't the same anymore... I've...

You need to completely abandon all mundane thought. you don't "get into it". That implies work, which doesn't, well, "work". You could be with the sexiest man alive, but if you have "chatter" going on in your head, then you are wasting an erotic opportunity. Spend some time locked away alone. Do some Introspection. How do you feel about this man now? What attracted you? Is he still a good person? If the answer is yes, mentally transport yourself to the INSTANT you felt the earth stay still, in the knowledge that your life will never be the same again. You CAN think yourself into an orgasm without touching because it, the Key, is in the mind.

That being said, if you have fallen out of love, is it out of mistrust or simply due to lessened communication? A Good man is worth the effort to keep, in the other little things that keep a relationship steady, Once that is in place it's easier to relax and allow yourself to effortlessly and completely let go. By the way, a good guy is turned off is his woman isn't into the moment. It is a mutual give and take, you feed off of one another in a virtuous cycle.

Personally, I am a perpetually tired parent of a non verbal autistic child. I transport myself to the moment my husband and I first kissed, that's all the spark I need.

I know this may sound strange, but its an "off the wall" idea that worked for me when I wasnt seeing my bf much and needed to get into the mood. I really like the whole besotted fantasy guy and a normal girl, reading books about things like this and reading about them getting heated (not actually having sex) puts me in a loving and sexual mood, I used to read them during my trip to see my bf. It helped! It's really just about how normal life is just so normal and being away from your loved one doesn't add any sexual parts to everyday life so you become accustom to sex not being there, so when you meet him/her you have to build up all your sexual feeling up again which can take time. I know its weird and, as I said, a really "off the wall" idea but maybe add sexual things to your time when he is gone, if its masturbating, reading heated novels, watching romantic films OR EVEN having phone sex or just talking about sex with your bf. It;s strange but it can work.

Try foreplay in more ways than just physical. Sweet gestures, gifts, and compliments really all work quite well. You can't be sexually happy with someone if you're not emotionally connected to themgv. Bridge that gap that being so far away can bring. Talk to him, maybe consider moving closer if the relationship is that important. Being emotionally close to him, and feeling loved, and loving, are very very important.

A lot of how women feel about sex is psychological and emotional, rather than mechanical. Men can enjoy sex without having emotional input, but they certainly enjoy it far more if they do. Women, on the other hand, have to have that emotion, from my experience. There are, of course, exceptions, but we're not going over that.

If there is something going on in your life that is stressful, bothersome, makes you upset, etc., even if it doesn't relate to your relationship, it can effect your sex. If you suffer from depression or another mental disorder, it can and probably will have an effect. If you are having second guesses about your relationship, or you don't feel the same anymore... you get the point. You need to deal with the problem at face level. Maybe not being close to your significant other is affecting your relationship with him. Examine your feelings (it's hard and painful, but worth it), and once you've discovered how you feel, then discuss it with your boyfriend. Don't let them linger, and fester into something that will ruin your relationship, or cause a nasty breakup if that is what has to happen.

Another, easier to solve problem would be monotony. If you guys do the same thing over and over, that can really make sex boring. Try something new. Get some sex toys in the bedroom. Rent a cabin, or just have sex somewhere new. Get some outfits to role-play in. Have fun with it. It's not work.

If it's the hormones, I'd say eat some chocolate, or other aphrodisiacs. If your sex drive is simply nil all the time, you might consider hormone therapy, although I haven't studied it enough to say it's a good idea. Just an idea.

Anyway, good luck, and I hope things work out. I know how it feels to not be able to enjoy sex with someone I love. It's awful, and really makes me distraught.

You are not strange; although I am sure this ill feeling towards sex is not normal. Be comforted in that you are not alone. I, too, have struggled with "getting in to it".
When I was dating my husband the sex was great and almost daily- now that we have been married for three years, its amazing if we have sex once a month.
He always wants it and pushes for it- I, on the other hand, push him away or make excuses. I feel awful for doing it but for some reason I just don't enjoy sex.
I have seen a few therapists and the almost unanimous conclusion has been that I struggle because my parents went through a nasty divorce when I was seven; leaving me torn inside.
I am not "torn" anymore, but I still can't get my mind in the right place to have sex...

I've been through this same thing so no, you're not alone... I wouldn't say it's normal necessarily because in my experience it was really masking problems that my boyfriend and I were having. I, too, thought something was wrong with me though and eventually after months of this confusion realized it was a much bigger problem we were having. We've been able to work it out and now sex is back to being great and we're closer than ever. Try talking to him maybe... but if you love him don't give up - because I'm proof that it can get better