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Question: I've been good friends with a guy...

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Posted by Anonymous on December 12, 2009 at 9:37 PM

I've been good friends with a guy for 6 years and never once had I thought about him in a sexual way. He's always been my rock as I've been his. He's an incredible guy and any woman would be lucky to date him. But here's what the problem is... last weekend we went out for a friends birthday and by the end of the night we wound up in bed together. I would've thought it would be awkward the next morning but it wasn't. Neither one of us is looking for a relationship but after what happened last weekend - something changed (obviously that we slept together). I would never start a relationship with someone by sleeping with them and as he knows I also don't sleep around. So I don't know what to do... Has anyone else ever dated a good guy friend? If so, did it work out? I'm so scared of jeopardizing our friendship that I don't know if it's worth exploring these feelings that we both have.

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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 13, 2009 at 3:13 PM
I got together with my best friend after 2 years of friendship and it’s the best relationship i could ever have.. :)
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Large_picture-fb_613120594
My Boyfriend And I Have Been Dating For 6 Months And Before That We Were Best Mates For Nearly 4 years. He's My Best Friend And First Love. Its Good to Know SomeOne Who You've Known For Years Than A Stranger You've Just Met Because They Understand You More And Your Weird Ways. He's Always There For Me And I'm Always There For Him.
I Helped Him Though His Eating Disorder And He Helped Me Though My Family's Death. If It Wasnt For Him I Would Be In Hospital After An OverDose Which He Found Me Just In Time
I Love Him So Much He's My Rock Forever.
Just Go For It! If It Doesnt Work Out You'll Always Be Friends Forever.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 13, 2009 at 12:02 PM
I say go for it. I've dated a couple of guys before, and I ALWAYS date for the long run. One of them I hardly knew before I started to go out with him, but that relationship ended badly and we never speak anymore even though I dated him for a little over 10 months. My second ex and I were friends for about a year before we dated. We keep eachother sane and give one another the listening ear if we need it; we are eachother's rock. We even talk about times when we had dated sometimes. That relationship ended mutually on a good note and we're still very good friends even now.

If I've learned one thing from my experiences, it's that if you stop dating someone who you had before only been "just friends" with and there's any awkwardness afterward, you and him were not very good friends to begin with. True friends accept you no matter what. If that means dating him and there's a breakup, it shouldn't be too much of a deal. He should accept you either way whether you're dating or not. Since you say there wasn't any awkwardness after you slept together, that is a good sign that you two already feel comfortable around eachother.

My current bf and I have been friends for almost 5 years and we just started dating a couple months ago. I've had feelings for him but didn't think anything would come from it. It was exciting when I found out he felt the same way. I can't remember feeling as happy as I do now for a long time. This is definitely one of my closer relationships, but if it does fall apart, I'm not very afraid about how it'll impact his and my relationship. This is because I know he'll still accept me. Since we had been friends for so long before this, he'll continue to be my friend, just as my last bf has done. So, what have you got to lose?
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Large_7-30-2009_02
Alex, I may borrow that quote from your little brother. Very cute & very true!
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Large_dscn1962
Okay, I know I'm really young to say this, but my boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now and we were best friends first and it is what I would look for if he and I ever broke up. Best friends understand you in a way no one else does. My parents agreed with my little brother when he said "So.... first you gotta be friends, then good friends then BEST friends, and then you get married?"
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Large_100_1396
I dated a good guy friend( we were friends for 4 years)...infact we was eachother's first relationship. It just ended a little bit over a month ago. We are trying to remain friends, but it's hard. I've only talked to him twice since the break up. But i think with time we will get back to the way things were. Also just keep in mind the good times you had with him. We was each other's first kiss. I mean yeah i'm upset that it didn't work up, but heck who else to better share moments like that with than someone who has meant something to you for some time.I think it just depends how much the two of you are willing to work at it. if you want to remain friends and actually work at it, then i believe that that will happen. ;)
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Large_my_20tat
I think you should go for it. My bf and i have been friends for 4 years and he too has been my rock and we have recently gotten together literally 5 months ago.
He has seen me at my worst at my best, good days and bad days and loves me for who i am.
Just think!
you already had the emotional part once you have the physical then you're set!
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 12, 2009 at 11:17 PM
Any potential longterm significant other should be your best friend anyway. As long as it's not forced, it should work, I would think. I would admit that I'd dated a friend, and it didn't work out. It isn't horrible though. We're still good friends, and we joke around about the time that we dated. My boyfriend now is my best friend, and like you said, my rock. He keeps me sane. That's how I know I have something special with him. But definitely don't force it.
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 12, 2009 at 10:55 PM
Well if your friend was like mine, he'll drop little hints that he likes you. I Debated weather to ask my best friend out for a year and it finally happened about 5 months ago. Things have been great between us and we're still the best of friends..But it only worked because he liked me too. So be careful and give him a few hints, flirt a little..if he returns flirtations, go for it:]
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  • Posted by Anonymous on December 12, 2009 at 10:47 PM
I've dated a best friend before. We had been best friends for about 3 years & dated for just under 9 months. It was amazing, fall-in-love type great, but the break-up was horrendous. As dumb as this probably sounds, it nearly destroyed me and my faith in love. After not speaking & shutting him out of my life for 7 months, we're back on as friends, and I wouldn't change what happened.

So my point is, things turn out for the best in the end. If it isn't good, then it isn't the end. =) This might just be the best thing to happen for both of yall at the right point in life.
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