Question: I've been engaged now for a year,...

It is not that easy..Just leave??? Maybe try counseling first. I have been with this man who gave me the world in the beginning. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage and he has raised them since 9 & 3 and now we're having issues. My oldest is 18 and brings so much drama into our relationship to the point where she was trying to fix me up with other guys because she doesn't like him. I love him and I am willing to work on the relationship although he is ready to end it because of all the stress. My 12 year old loves him and he is the only dad she has known she was 3. It is not fair. I am hoping he is not ready to throw it all away. We have been engaged for 2 years and we just recently started saying I love you to each other after over 7 months. So hang in there if you are really wanting to work on things. I don't know your entire situation but remember that the person who cares the least in the relationship is the one who can decide if it is go or no. I am hoping for the best for you and myself. Good Luck.

ITS OVER END IT U WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER WHEN ITS DONE

I agree with this completely!
I have been going through the same situation for the past couple of months except that I don't have children with him or share a house/finances with him. We were extremely close for a very long time and we saw eachother every day, being the totally perfectly in love couple who couldnt live without eachother. A couple of months ago I started feeling disengaged, I didn't feel it anymore. I started going out and partying again and it really felt good to be out and about seeing all my friends again. We have been drifting apart every since. I am very aware of the fact that I don't give him what he deserves being the affection and attention he craves, but I have just been needing this free time so badly! Now I decided it would be best to be apart for a while and he agreed reluctantly, but now I start realizing as well that I am indeed still in love with him and that maybe this ultimate bit of freedom is going to destroy everythign for good! I don't want to lose him but I don't always know how to be a good gf either.

You are probably going through what he is going through and maybe my story is similar to his. I think this means he just needs a wake up call! He needs to realise what he stands to lose.

DUMP HIM!! if he hasnt told you he loves you in four months.. thats probably why you dont love him anymore.. AND youre engaged.. just get rid of him you will find someone better .. do you think you really want that for the rest of your life?

First of all, you need to decide for yourself whether or not you love him anymore. Maybe it's his behaviour that is making you think that you don't like him, ie your mind is trying to make you feel like you don't care to make your heart hurt less. Hope this makes sense.
So... I suggest you talk to him. Really make him. Say that his behaviour is making you think twice whether or not you want to get married and be in a relationship that will bring no passion and love. Ask him to open up.
But... rather than making this a "you" conversation, make it an "I" conversion. This means, rather than putting the blame on him, put it either on yourself, or explain it in a different way....
Example:
Instead of saying, "You're being mean to me and you don't care anymore", try something like this: "I feel like I'm losing you. Did I do something wrong? We're not as close as we used to be. Is there something we can do about this?" etc.
Try not to insult him, because it will only make it worse. Say that you're really trying to make this work, that you love him, and want your love back the way it used to be. See if there is something wrong maybe at his work or if there is something that changed in his life that he hasn't told you about, something that is maybe stressing him out.
Wish you luck! =)

If there is no affection plus you doubt if you love him and your questioning your own feelings then why are you even engaged? If you two want to work things out thats great maybe he's have doubts too or scared of the next step that is marriage! You two need to talk things over sit down and talk things over from how you two feel about each other from where you see things together in the future.

Well said. I agree.

I agree with this Anon. If you really want to salvage the relationship, and he keeps avoiding talking about the problems you two are having, then it's time to seek out relationship counseling. If he also refuses that, it's an indication he no longer wants the relationship. Co-owned assets are MUCH easier (and less costly) to split when you're not married. Relationship problems such as these need to be ironed out LONG before you consider marriage.

Totally agree with you.

My fiancee and I have been together 4 years. (We also have 2 babies we love, but it does add to the stress) We've been going through the same thing for the past 2 years, only reversed. He was the one giving the most wonderful compliments, always flirting, being affectionate, hugs & kisses, and I kept pushing him away. He was and did everything a girl could ask. I treated him as an inconvenience. I wasn't happy, which made him unhappy. Our relationship had fallen apart. 4 days ago we both agreed it wasn't working and that we wanted to end it all. It was mutual, no hard feelings. 12 hours later, after he had moved all his stuff out, we sat down and had a very respectful conversation as to how we would divide everything, what the boundaries were, etc...thats when reality hit & we realized we couldn't live without each other! We were still very much in love. We're still seperated, only because know we need more independance from each other. We need to re-learn how to communicate, respect & appreciate each other. Finances are also a huge issue we need to work on. I've also realized I need help just to be happy with myself. These are things we will never accomplish by ourselves. We need lots of advise, maybe even counciling.
Moral of the story: #1-You don't know what you have till you lose it.
#2-Sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.
#3-It ain't over till it's over.
There's no conclusion to my story, and wont be till the day I die. Life itself is a constant struggle. I just know that I was the bad guy this time. I was the one giving up. I was miserable & didn't know why, so I put blame where I shouldn't have. It's unfair. I feel aweful for putting my family through this. But nobody could change that. You are your own person. You make your own decisions. You have to do whats right for yourself. If you make the wrong decision, you'll have to accept that. Maybe "someone" will stick by you, maybe they wont. And vice versa. You can only be pushed/push someone so far. Only you can decide. Love wll prevail, you can't fool the heart.
He's going to need a wake up call. If he's not willing to work on it with you, thats his choice. And if it is, who knows, maybe he'll see what he's missing like I did. If things don't turn out so good, then you're better off.