GirlsGuideTo | Question: How do you ever truly get over...

How do you ever truly get over your first? It's something every woman has had to go through I know, but of course the experience is different for everybody. So, back in may of 2010 I met this guy through my friend, and we hit it off right away. We began texting and talking on the phone a few nights week, and things were progressing nicely. But, by the second time we hung out we ended up having sex. It was my first time, but definitely not his. I never suspected things to change after that night, but of course they did. He didn't speak to me for about a month after that. But, when he finally did come back around I was sucked back into his game. I knew from that point that it was all about the sex with him. Whenever we spent time together after that, we always had sex. I knew that it was wrong, but I guess I was setting myself up for pain. Eventually it all broke apart, and he started talking crap about me to his friends, and even to my best friend who happens to work with him. He also lied to me about being clean, and ended up giving me an STI. It's all cleared up now, but he then proceeded to tell everyone we knew that it was me who gave it to him.
So that all happened about a month ago, and as horrible as he was to me, I still find myself missing him. Is it because he was my first? I've tried going out with other guys, but that always turns out to be a disaster. I know this is going to take time, but if anyone can give me any advice on how to make it a little bit easier it would be amazing.

Comments

Posted by Laura Moll on February 25, 2011 at 3:19 PM

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It takes time, sometimes more time than people like to admit to themselves. Previous post was totally right: You have to WANT TO LET GO first. That's sort of the hardest part. He hurt you. The reason you're probably still stuck on him is because you realize that he saw something about you he really liked (even if it was primarily your body). Focus on yourself, your life, fill your time with things you enjoy doing and you will eventually stop thinking about him. Also, talking with your friends about it in an honest way helps a lot too. Good luck, you'll get through it.
Also, if you really want to get over him, say to yourself: It's over, he hurt me, I'm never going to be with him again, I deserve better because I'm a good person.

Posted by Tina Gaston on January 13, 2011 at 7:59 AM

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oh .. I'm so sorry sweety

Posted by Anonymous on January 12, 2011 at 3:46 PM

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I know the feeling. I've been there and still am. It's getting better now but it took me almost 4 years to get to the point where I can say that he's an ass.
You say that it's only been a month? Give yourself a little time. It was your first time. that's big!
Also, you really need to WANT to move on.
I hope things work out for you!

Posted by Anonymous on January 12, 2011 at 3:46 PM

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Posted by Anonymous on January 12, 2011 at 3:11 PM

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of course you will get over him one day! you will never forget him but you will stop missing him and stop loving him. i was with my first for nearly 3 years til everything went horribly wrong (wont go into the details) and that was about 2 years ago and i have no feelings for him what so ever and i see him quite a lot. he has a new girlfriend and everything and i really dont feel jealous or anything. it probably has something to do with the fact that im with someone else and i love him, so you just have to wait til you find that someone who fits you perfectly and you will forget all about the d*ck who really REALLY isnt worth your time thinking about him.

Posted by Anonymous on January 12, 2011 at 12:15 AM

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Honestly, you will prolly never get over him. I am still head over heels for the first guy I ever fell in love with, every time I see him my heart flutters and I have butterflys in my stomach, but I know I don't want to go there because he is a douche. There will always be a part of you, no matter how much you dislike him, that will always love him. The only thing you can do is keep telling yourself that you are worth someone who treats you alot better, and get out there. You will fall in love again.