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Question: I am just posting this as I...
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5 comments
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Posted by Anonymous on April 19, 2012 at 11:53 AM
I am just posting this as I would really like to find out if there are any other women out there in a similar situation that I'm in at the moment, and have any advice for me. I've been with the man I'm married to for six years and we have two children. I got married when I was 18, kids when I was 19 and I feel like I havent been able to live my life at all. I'm almost 23 and I literally feel like I'm suffocating and trapped in a life that I told myself I would never ever have. It's everything I despise. The big house in the suburbs, family car, and the FAKE happy family routine.
I hate myself for going along with this and having kids. At one point in our relationship, he was going to leave me because I didn't want to have kids right then and I felt if he left me, I would have absolutely nothing and no where to live. So I gave him kids. I do know now that I should have just ended the relationship there and then, but what's done is done.
The past two years have been absolute hell. Constant arguing and bickering, and at one point he got violent, but I stayed and tried to sort things out for the kids' sake. He's an awesome father, but we are not an awesome couple. We are complete opposites. We grew apart a long time ago and I've emotionally and physically worn myself out trying to make it work. I dont want to take the kids away from a stable life because I never had a stable life when I was a kid and I know how hard it can be. Leaving just seems like the only option.
I would still see my kids, but I couldnt take them with me. I want to study, get a job, and travel. I've put my entire life on hold to support my husband and help him with his career and its made me hate him. I've spoken to him about how I need to live my life and he agrees, and has said I can go away for two weeks, but I can't see myself wanting to come back to this life. And to make things even worse for myself, I've started talking to a guy in the UK that I have clicked so well with, and I never usually get on so well with people. I'm a very anti-social person, he's in the same situation minus the kids.
My head is such a mess right now and I'm in desperate need of advice. Also, we have tried counselling twice in the past and it only seems to act like a bandaid. It always just ends up falling apart again. I've spoken to family and friends about it and I've been told to just leave him before it gets any worse. Please help!
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― Esther Dyson
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The condition is I am in love with a guy who doesn't love me back...Actually it started around 4 mths back...I had joined bachelors and just met this guy...he was totally out of my thoughts but I got slight crush upon him... I denied that crush but turned out he too loved me, from the very first look... we chatted and in a very strange way which I had never felt before I started liking him...One day he proposed me and added not to take seriously... I had been in a bad relation for like past 2 yrs(6 mths before I met this guy) so I replied in a very furious way... it made him step back... slowly my love for this guy got serious.. we both knew we loved each other but it wasn't formal... last month we decided to have sex and it was the best feeling I got... I lost my virginity with my ex but I had never had such feeling ever... I had told this guy abt my past relation but not about the "sex" thing... I didn't want to lose him.. but after that first time he doubted on me... he seemed sad so I told honestly everything... he was a virgin before that and so he feels like I used him which is not true... I wanted just spiritual love but he wanted everything and so in order not to lose him I agreed...
Things have changed so differently then... he has become rude, he has lost trust, and he says he doesn't love me anymore... I know this is the man I want to marry and have kids with but I don't know how to win him back... help me... it's like a month I am trying to re establish our relation but I am not being able to... I even tried committing suicide but that didn't affect him at all... he is way too hurt... and I want to be with him again... what should I do??? :'(
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Being married, I get your want to just get away from it all, but what would you tell your kids? Take responsibility for the situation that you helped create, and then take responsibility for getting out of it.
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