Question: Okay ladies I am hoping you can...

Girl, just leave. That's a blow that can never be recovered so easily, he had unprotected sex with another woman. Yes he admitted to it, so what? If he truly loved you he wouldn't have screwed around with someone else and taking risks like that. The pain is going to make you feel miserable, but there are better, and smarter men out there. This one sounds like he rather think with his dick, walk away and be... no. DO better, even when it gets tough. You don't deserve the "guidelines" he tells you that you have to follow, when you for one didn't make a mistake.

"A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her." -Marilyn Monroe

I can't relate on the pregnant part but while my ex and I were engaged things too began to be overwhelming between my mother having breast cancer and the engagement itself we decided that we should take a break. We were still an item, still lived together and still loved each other. Yet he felt it was alright while I was away at a doctor's appointment for my mom to bring another girl (17 years old) into our apartment and have sex with her. I later found out that after I broke up with him for his stupidity that he went back to said girl and continued to have unprotected sex with her. She had gotten pregnant and when she supposedly "lost the baby" he came running back to me because her emotions were too much to handle.

I guarantee that once that baby comes into this world and the going gets tough he will only be there because he has to for the baby. Whether it's forced by the court or because he wants to he will only be around the kid not the other woman. I would suggest leaving until he pulls his head out of his rear end and either realizes that he wants to be with you (meaning he includes you in everything) or he tells you that he wants to be with her. He's being very immature about this entire situation and that shows that he isn't 100% in this relationship like you are. If he was he wouldn't have gotten intimate with another woman. period.

I hope in the end though that everything works out for you with or without him in your life!

There should not be any guidlines for you to live by with this situation. You did absolutely nothing wrong. He was the ding dong who went out and had a fling with this woman and didn't think of using protection.

If my husband had done that to me while we were engaged he would man up and take me to the appointments with him. It is after all half of his DNA so hearing the heart beat and seeing it is amazing.

To exclude you the woman he "loves" is putting you on the back burner of his life. I don't care if it upsets the other woman, she is the other woman you have the ring on and his "confession of love". It doesn't sound like he is willing to give her up on a emotional and intimate relationship.

Once the baby comes you will be there in it's life once you marry him if you choose to marry him. I personally would not marry him. He doesn't seem to cherish you anymore then he cherishes this other woman.

You deserve way better then him.

Leave him and if he goes straight to her you'll know you made the right decision, if he comes crawling and begging back maybe you could give him another chance. He needs to realize what he's losing and hit rock bottom.

I have never been in this kind of situation so I really have no say but I would leave him. It's the best thing you can do if he would meet your needs as well. Good luck!

When we originally made the decision that we would try to work through this I did ask about going to the appointments with him. He did not feel comfortable about it, and said if I were there she would get upset. I have told him many times if he expects to end up with me in the end the only way I'm going to be able is by making me feel comfortable. He said that there were guidelines I needed to follow, and I'm sorry that just did it for me. Guidelines? Really? No there should be guidelines for that girl. She knows he doesn't want her but she is so persistent. She thinks he is going to be with her, she has recently harassed me about it. You really have a good point about the appointments. I do not think its necessary for him to go. He disagrees, he feels he is not doing whats right if he's not present. She also has used the excuse, "I'm losing the baby" every week since she found out to get him to stay with her. She says she can't do it without him. They both should have thought about it before they had unprotected sex.

I'm so sorry that sounds really really awful.
But in saying that, it's not a 'tough one'. He betrayed you by being intimate with another woman while you were on a 'break'. I'm sure you wouldn't have even thought of doing that with another man if you loved your fiance. Unfortunately he now has to face the consequences - It seems that maybe he is only wanting to be with you because he feels sorry for being found out and doesn't want to face up to the fact that he is now going to be a father.
If it was me I would leave and never look back. Maybe you can be friends in a couple of years, but he hurt you and his silly decisions will have negative consequences on your life and your relationship.
End of story - he slept with another woman (unprotected?!) and seems to be in denial about it all. You deserve so so so much better than a weak man who doesn't show love for you in the way he acts. Don't listen to what he says to you, listen to what his actions say to you.
All the best and I really do hope you cut your ties and move on to better things. Trust me better times are out there, even if they don't involve a man.
xx

He should bring you to the appointments with him, and also make sure she knows that he is planning on being with you, NOT her and that there are lines she can't cross. There need to be guidelines, he should be doing everything possible to make sure you are comfortable with the situation even if it means NOT going to the appointments. Why is he going to appointments in the first place? She doesn't need him there...especially if they're not in item...