GirlsGuideTo | Question: My boyfriend and I have been together...

My boyfriend and I have been together for months, and before we started dating, we were great friends. Things have been going great, but I have a few nagging issues that I can’t seem to get over. Before we started dating, he was dating another girl very seriously. He has told me that they almost got engaged, but she left him for someone else. It totally broke his heart, he loved her so much. But the girl told her that he has to move on, and in his mind, she took everything that they had for the past 2 1/2 years. Keep in mind, this girl has long hair, wears glasses, and is very slim.

So fast forward to us. When we first started dating, I asked him several times if deep inside he still loves her, because sometimes in our early dating he would talk about her a lot. He said no, because that's the past and he loves me. I also (being the paranoid girlfriend here) asked him if she came back for him, would he leave me. He said he would choose me over her. He wants to be open to me and let me know everything in his past and accept him as it is.

Which leads to me to other thing that is bothering me…that he asks me to accept him, but I feel like he would like to make me grow my hair longer, lose weight (I’m a little chubby with an hour glass body). Then the last thing, I used to wear glasses when I was younger, and now I bought a new pair since they’re kind of trendy. He likes it so much that I look cute. I missed looking geeky, that's the reason why I bought a new pair, but I worry about why he likes it so much.

I think I see myself being compared or he's making me look like his ex-girlfriend. I talked to him about it and he told me that he wasn't comparing me, that he's just suggesting what looks good or better on me, and he told me it's my choice. We have sweet and memorable times together. He cares and loves me so much. But I'm still confused and don't know for sure if he truly loves me or he is still blinded by his ex-girlfriend. If anyone has opinions....I'd love to hear them...

Comments

Posted by Anonymous on June 27, 2012 at 8:06 PM

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If you keep asking him if he is comparing you to his ex it will just drive him away. Stop being insecure. You bought glasses and he likes them... if he said you looked ugly in them you would have been angry. Take the compliment for what it is and don't over analyze everything. You are comparing yourself to his ex and pushing it off onto him.

Posted by Anonymous on June 27, 2012 at 8:00 PM

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I find it very strange that he seems to want you to look like his ex-girlfriend. I would tell him that makes you uncomfortable and he needs to accept and love you just the way you are.

Posted by Anonymous on June 27, 2012 at 7:40 PM

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If you have no reason to distrust him, then take him at his word. It's probably you who is doing all the comparing because inside you feel inadequate and are uncomfortable with yourself. He wouldn't tell you that he loves you if he didn't!