Question: Last night, I looked through my boyfriend’s...

Last night, I looked through my boyfriend’s Facebook messages. I read one he wrote to his cousin where he bragged about talking to other girls. What should I do?

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From the Expert, Jenn Clark:

So you snooped and found something shady, huh? I’m not surprised. You see, that’s one of the big problems with snooping; you usually find something you don’t want to discover.

I don’t believe in snooping, hacking into Facebook and email accounts or checking up on boyfriends. Why not? Because if you feel the need to take such measures, it means you don’t trust your guy. And the bottom line is you should never be with someone you don’t trust.

Further, it’s fairly hard to confront the scoundrel with the evidence you’ve uncovered. When you tell your boyfriend that you found dirt on him while you were doing something you shouldn’t have done, it becomes very easy for him to turn it around and get mad at you for going through his personal business. Frankly, darling, snooping is a lose-lose proposition.

What should you do? I’ll tell you. You shouldn’t be with him. I don’t know whether boasting about talking to other girls qualifies as a deal breaker offense. It could simply be “guy talk” or immaturity. It could also be that he’s looking around and wants to keep his options open. Or it could be that he’s a scumbag and doesn’t have a faithful bone in his body. However, that’s not really the point.

The big problem you face is that -- for whatever reason -- you do not trust your boyfriend. Your gut told you he was up to no good and you felt compelled to confirm those feelings. If you stay in a relationship with a man you don’t trust, you will end up miserable. You’ll never feel peaceful or secure. So I say it’s time to move on and find someone whose emails you don’t have to monitor.
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Jenn Clark is a relationship advice expert and author of the book “How to Be a Goddess (A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming the Woman Men Dream About…).” You can find it on her Facebook page:www.facebook.com/jennx30somethingandsingle
Or on amazon.com at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/Goddess-Step--Becoming-About-ebook/dp/B006HBSWSS/r

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• Snooping