GirlsGuideTo | Question: How should I approach this situation? I've...

How should I approach this situation? I've been dating a guy for almost year and we live together. We get along really well and I would say that 98% of the time we don't argue. However, there are moments when he will be tired or in a stressed out mood and if I say or do something that annoys him, he takes it out on me and I'm suddenly under scrutiny.

The most recent event of criticism was that I asked him if his meal tasted good...and from there he snapped on me. "It's fine!" he said in the rudest possible tone...and after that, he later told me that I'm too complacent, too agreeable and that I need to be my own person. For two days he wouldn't kiss me, hug me, come close to me....nothing. Which I understand that when you're angry, being affectionate is not the first thing on your mind; however, I am failing to see why I deserve to be punished so severely for being agreeable!?

It just happens that we have a lot in common and I'm a laid back person, so I am pretty much game for anything. But I guess he finds that being too complacent. I believe that I'm a pretty independent person though, I have my own ideas, I do my own things -- I cycle by myself all the time, I go out with my friends regularly and he never wants to join, I take trips alone to see my family. I do have my own life...so what's his deal?

I told him after our argument simmered that even though we are back to getting along I'm still upset and hurt by what was said and that my self-esteem is...yeah, a little damaged at the moment. But he hasn't done a single thing to reassure me that we are ok. So as far as I know he is still contemplating our relationship based on the notion that I'm too agreeable. Am I investing my time in something completely not worthwhile?

Comments

Posted by Sharde Moser on July 15, 2012 at 11:49 PM

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ummmm my first thought is RUN... this is not going to just get better and he's obviously not that interested in a relationship.. and can you say Baggage please... drop him like its hot babe you deserve much better then a Dbag that has no care at all for your feelings... he keeps acting like you did something to him by being "agreeable" thats total BS and something he needs to work out on his own

Posted by Angelina Dowell on July 15, 2012 at 8:23 PM

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It doesn't sound like your man is treating you very well. It seems like he has some insecurities of his own he needs to deal with, and instead of doing that he's putting them on you. I think it's time for a talk with him. If he's not willing to deal with his own issues then I would think it best to break it off. Sorry sweetie. :(

Posted by Anonymous on July 14, 2012 at 3:06 PM

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It certainly sounds like you're investing your time in something that isn't worth it. From what I'm seeing, this guy has some issues and he tries to put them back on you. You don't deserve that.