Question: So, hi! Here's the thing: I am...

I was in a different boat. When I was 18, I lost my virginity to this guy that I dated, but didn't really care about. At the time, I thought I cared a lot about him, but in retrospect, I was just really attracted to him, and he used me (he was older, and I was naive).

In some ways, I was ready to lose my virginity (though I had always thought it would be with the love of my life). I never told my best friends, because I knew that they would look down on me for that.

Now I am with the love of my life. In some ways, I wish I had waited to lose my virginity with him. But in other ways, I'm glad I didn't, because then I was able to guide him (he was a virgin) and I was a lot more confident (or rather, I knew what to expect).

Ultimately, your virginity is something that only you care about. Your friends might act judgemental, pretentious guys might pretend they want virgins (or not). But when it comes down to it, your virginity is only important to yourself, and you can make it as important (or not important) as you'd like. Don't worry about who you're going to marry based off of your virginity. Worry about who you're going to marry based off of the love you share.

Hope that helps!

Not going to lie, I was in the same boat as you not too long ago. Except, I was 22. It was my first time, same situation, a boy I really love. I didn't have the exact same questions you did, but I was kinda close. I questioned if I would end up with him and if I didn't, would I ever love someone as much as I do him. My best friend and I promised we'd wait until marriage but I told her right after it happened. She was shocked, and said "You were the last person I expected to do that!" She even sounded a bit disappointed in me.

I explained it to her though. Told her how much he meant to me and that if he meant so much to me how could he and I not eventually end up married. She eased off after that. Said she was happy I found someone I loved. I even answered my own question when dealing with her. How could I not end up with him when he and I care for each other so much? Even he feels that way. I know because I expressed my concerns to him. That helped take some of the anxiety away.

If by chance I don't end up marrying him... I can move on. I don't feel ashamed of what I did because I love him. You love your guy too so there should be no shame. I don't think I'd worry about someone not loving you for not being a virgin. Lately... the standards have changed and chances are, if things don't go well with this guy, there is probably someone else out there for you that you are meant to be with. Someone who wont care if you are a virgin or not and will love you for you. That is what you want anyways. To be loved for who you are.

You shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed of your first time. I mean its not like you picked a random off the street, you did it with a man that loved you and it was somthing you talked about first.

And as for feeling guiltly over what your freinds are saying don't. I mean if they choose to remain a virgin until marriage let them its their personal choice, as it was yours not to. And theres no shame in that, and as teh above poser said a man who loves you wont care if your a virgin on your wedding night or not.

Of course guys will still want to marry you. In fact, some men actually prefer non-virgins since sex for the first time is not so awkward.

Plus, if someone is in love with you then he would not leave you for something so petty as being a non-virgin. Besides, in this decade sex before marriage isn't such a taboo any more any ways.