GirlsGuideTo | Question: I need help. My boyfriend and I...

I need help. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over eight months, and everything has been going great. I love him more than anything, and we've been through a lot, but, I really think that he is the one that I'm supposed to be with for the rest of my life. He's kind, and he really truly loves me, even though I'm not the perfect girl in the magazine...but, in comes the problem.

He likes Playboy. Which is cool, sure, other than the fact that it makes me very insecure about myself. I've been trying to obtain "body peace" for a long while now...but, that's another story. We've talked about it, and he says it's just for the articles...but, that's like saying you go to Vegas for the shows. Also...he loves porn. And, he tells me it's just a median, it's just a way for him to release, but, now that we live together, he shouldn't need it, and he told me before we moved in that once we were living together, he wouldn't need it.

But, getting onto his computer today, just to see what he was up to, I found that yesterday he had been viewing it. He must have viewed it when my roommate and I went out to the fitness center to exercise. We came back, and his door was shut...He told me it was because it was a habit from his old house, where there was a lot of noise. But, now that all the pieces fall together...I see he was lying.

So, help me, please! I don't know what to do, or how to address him about this. He's gotten angry before about me "snooping" through his computer, but, this time it was innocent - he had some funny stories and pictures up, and I wanted to see if he had read any other ones. I'm just so disappointed in him. I go pick him up from a work meeting in about an hour and need to talk to him about this all. What's the best way to do it?

Comments

Posted by Emily Jensen on January 30, 2010 at 12:27 AM

I agree 100%

Posted by Emily Jensen on January 30, 2010 at 12:25 AM

btw.. when u say that ur bf gives u access to his internet history.. only because he can delete it.. and u can hide files on his computer.. hes proly hiding it .. but lying just to keep u happy..

Posted by Amy Bennett on December 30, 2009 at 9:23 AM

i agree

Posted by Amy Bennett on December 30, 2009 at 9:11 AM

thats a bunch of bullshit, its something men say to excuse their behavior

Posted by Amy Bennett on December 30, 2009 at 9:09 AM

thank you, i agree women are not objects.

Posted by Amy Bennett on December 30, 2009 at 9:06 AM

I agree ppl should keep there morals and stick to it. My husband lied to me for a year and a half about watching porn. Hes a great man, smart, and i love him. We have been married for 2 years now, almost divorced twice*(which neither of us believe in). But finally he admitted he had a serious problem, we tried therapy which didnt work out so well. But in the end we worked out this SERIOUS problem together. I told him how it made me feel when he would sneak and watch porn and then lie to me about it. Dont listen to these skanky girls telling you to deal with ur body image issues by yourself and to get over him looking at porn. And FUCK all you hoes for saying "there men, they watch porn"!!! Fuck that, its only an excuse, sneeking behind a womans back and lying about watching porn is a form of cheating not to mention how is she supposed to trust him if he lies to her about something so stupid. I am very happy to read there are alot of women with morals out there, and would like to thank you all for writing on here. Me and my husband made a deal that if he wanted to watch porn we would watch it together, and we are honest to each other about what we like. I give him what he wants and he gives me what i want, if either is uncomfortable doing something we can watch said porn and that need is fullfilled. I must admit at first i was VERY against porn but when used thwe right way and honestly it can really help a relationship. All you girls plz stick to your morals, tell the guy how you feel and if he continues to hurt you by lying he obiviosly doesnt care about you.

I hope the best for you and your man girl.

Again Sofia timberlake-fuce and all you other ladies w/morals thank you

Posted by Anonymous on November 14, 2009 at 6:29 PM

I looked at the history on MY computer only to discover that my boyfriend, has been watching gay porn, i have no clue how to bring that up..

Posted by Anonymous on November 5, 2009 at 7:08 AM

Animated porn is more disturbing then real porn. Why don't you encourage him to get off watching scooby doo. Hentai, it worse then real porn, if you'd seen it yuo'd understand this.

Posted by Anonymous on November 5, 2009 at 6:28 AM

It indicates a lack of trust. I got pissed at my boy and dumped him when he hacked my msn to see if i was still talking to a male friend, this is a friend who i;ve never dated, in fact he's gay. But my bf at the time didn't' like him, so he was trying to control me. So i said fuck off to him. I agree with Alixanderia, the more you deprive someone of something the more they'll want it. Yet you know what most of you would be saying if the roles was reversed, you;d be telling her to dump him. And i like having things that only i know about, I'm not the one who can share everything with a lover. But if you're that dependent. enjoy!

Posted by Anonymous on November 5, 2009 at 6:19 AM

thats a fairy tale not reality, even if they don;t look at porn they will check out other women, possibly fantasize about them when they're with you. I mean I'm not saying women can't do the same and not every person has a one and only, some people are happy having many lovers and if it makes them happy then so-be it.