Question: My bf is a really amazing guy,...

I am going throught the exact same problem right now. I am very honest with my bf and I tell him enough about why I act a certain way. he says he undertands but i still want to improve. I see a therapist and she uses a technique called MDR on me which has really helped. therapy is expensive, i know, so if it is not an option, the are many resource centers that provide free support groups. i am seeing myself improving daily and i now i could not have done it without an outside source.

Your kids are just as important so definatly include there views :)
He sounds like a great guy and he should understand if your not ready to tell him and let him into your life fully by letting your guard down. Really sounds like a keeper though :)
Good luck!

I came outta the same kinda thing, very abusive ex. Met a new guy, and he was great, but I also had problems with my past. I spoke to him abt them and then introduced him to my kids and parents to see what they thought.
Feedback was wonderful, my kids like him (a first) and my mum phoned me that night to tell me if i blew it she'd shoot me, then my dad phoned and said it was the first man i'd brought home that my mum had good things to say about. So, after much talking between him and I, we now have a wonderful relationship, and took it to the next level.
Good luck, and like some of the others have said, listen to feedback

I agree with all of the comments above. Be honest, and take it slow. Your kids will be a part of
his life as well as yours. They come first! Listen to their feedback. All of you are in this together.
He sounds like a keeper.. go for it!! (-:

I was in a similar situation but opposite, he has the kids. I was always fighting to get to know them and when I finally did meet them it was all good pretty much. You don't have to all hang out together all the time but having your kids interact with him is a good thing, for everybody. Do easy things, like going out for dinner, or to a movie, or bowling; activities that are more centred on the kids so that they get a chance to meet him and get used to him in your life, and theirs; plus they're doing an activity so most of their attention will be focussed on that. So that will take some pressure of your guy and you. If your guy is as amazing as you describe, and it does sound like he wants to meet them, then everything should really be ok. Tell him how you feel, that it's not a reflection on how you view him, but as a defensive mechanism, and ask him if he'd be alright with the first few times meeting the kids with someone else you trust around, like your mother or another family member.
In time everyone will be more at ease with eachother, hopefully, =] so just take things slow, but remember, as someone else said, no two men are exactly alike, and if you don't take ANY chances, you'll never know. Drop your guard a bit, but not completely, when you know for certain in your heart your children are safe with him, you'll just know. Good luck!!

I agree, get your kids in on whats going on if they arnt already, and get their opinion on your bf (if they are old enough to give it). See how he handles himself around your kids, and how the kids take to him. If everything seems fine, talk to him. Let him know that your previous relationship has taken its toll on you, but its over and done with and you want to continue seeing your bf, and take things to the next level. : ) If he obviously wants to as well, he will do his best to keep you at ease.

Well if he knows what you have been through he should be more understanding but you should tell him how you feel about him and if he is as amazing as you say then you need to just drop your guard this is a completely different guy it's not your ex. No two men are the same and you can't take the next step until you can completely let your guard down and be yourself.

Second see what your kids think about him I don't know how old they are, but your children, although it may not seem like it now, give the greatest opinion mainly because they are so innocent and just say whatever they think. Yet it all depends whether or not they have met him and been around him.

Try to do it before it's to late also.

I think the best way to approach this is to just be honest with him. Tell him how you're feeling and see what he says.... It sounds like he's a great guy and is more than willing to take it to the next level with you.