QotD: February 7, 2012

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:18:58 -0500

It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked. ~Rob Bell

Your question

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 01:42:52 -0500

How do you overcome an eating disorder that you don't have? When I stress, I tend to have little appetite and feel like I don't have enough time to cook a decent meal, or sometimes even go grocery shopping. This year, I have been incredibly stressed with school and work, and generally just trying to support myself. (I am in college and living in my first apartment.) I know I don't feed myself sufficiently, however, it is not due to low self-esteem or body issues.

I have been keeping a log of my meals and average about one "meal" a day. I try to cook large quantities of food and freeze left overs, however this doesn't always happen. I feel like I am becoming anorexic, without all of the typical symptoms and causes. How can I overcome this "disorder?"

Signs He Likes You... But How Much?

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 14:38:50 -0500

If you are dating a new guy and you ask is he into me, it's what we all do. We have all heard the phrase he is just not that into you and that is not fun. If you are liking him, you of course hope that he is into you. I am going to tell you some sure signs that he is into you. If you have a guy doing the following things, chances are good, he is into you.

- He calls when he says he will. This means he doesn't call hours later or the next day with an excuse. 

- He takes you places, meaning it's not your place or his. If it's always your place or his, you might be in a friends with benefits relationship. 

- He asks about your life and wants to know how you day is

 - He takes you out and is willing to pick you up, you don't have to drive to see him always

- He offers to help you with things, change a light bulb, look at your tires, add a quart of oil 

- He compliments you and seems proud of you

- He wants you to meet his friends and family 

- He wants to meet your friends and family 

- He sticks around after sex 

- He texts you at random, just to say hi.

 - He picks on you and teases you. Think about grade school boys pulling your pigtails in the sandbox.

 - He will stop by even if it only means seeing you for a few minutes. 

- He spends time with you on the weekends, not just weekdays 

- He doesn't call you for booty calls, he respects you enough not to ring your phone in the middle of the night

 - Your dates don't revolve around sex, he is fine with just snuggling

If your guy is doing most of the above things, that's a sign he is into you. If he isn't you may just be an option in his book. If he isn't making you a priority in his life, then you may not be his idea of girlfriend material. 

Guys have different types of girls in their lives.

Booty call girl. The girl who they know will always be around to hang out and/or have sex without him having to do any work but send a simple text that says, "hey what are you doing?" "want to hang out?" or "come over". This is the good-time girl and this girl will never be anything more than that.

Friend with Benefits. This is the friend that they have sex with that will never make it to girlfriend status, well because she settled for less and didn't demand more. Friends with benefits is a lost cause and rarely progress to more than heartache.

Filler Girl. A girl they do like, but don't see themselves in a relationship with. They like her but something about her does not inspire him to move her to girlfriend role. She is only filling a position and giving him something to do until he finds someone more interesting. 

Girlfriend. This is the one he adores and can't wait to see. This is the one you want to be. This girl has done something or there is just something about her that inspires him to take her off the market and claim her as his own. If he is into you, chances are good, he has made you his girlfriend. 

So which girl are you? You definitely don't want to be the booty call girl. But maybe he's shown some signs he's into you; however, if you can't tell for sure just remember you can't force a guy to like you.

QotD: February 2, 2012

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 00:08:45 -0500

When she’s not yours, you’ll do everything you can to get her. But when you do have her, you take everything for granted. So by the time you realize that you should’ve treated her right the first time, she’ll be with the guy that treats her right every time. ~Unknown

Fashion: When to Spend and When to Save

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 19:00:02 -0500

You just moved into a new apartment. It’s completely empty and you need to purchase all new items in order to furnish it. You have a limited budget, but you want to make it look amazing (naturally). What you won’t do: Browse Craigslist for a used sofa and then head to the most expensive design shop for expensive vintage wall frames. Ok, maybe you will, but you shouldn’t. What you should do is invest in a few key pieces, like a nice sofa and coffee table, and then head to Ikea for the rest.

The same rule applies to dressing. You don’t need to spend exorbitant prices to look amazing. But at the same time, if you go budget on everything, unless you are super shopping savvy (and some people are), you run the risk of looking cheap. It turns out, creating a wardrobe that is fashion forward, smart, appropriately trendy, and doesn't break the bank is a bit of a learned skill developed through careful observation and trial and error. Here are some tips I've picked up over the years:

Things to Invest In:

1) Blazers. A blazer can transform an otherwise simple outfit into a head-turner. In my opinion, it should be the single-most important item in your wardrobe. Because you can freshen up almost anything with the right blazer, you don’t want your blazer to look cheap. Material matters here. Go for wool, not polyester. Wool is going to cost more, but its worth the money. A blazer is an investment piece. You can wear it again and again and it works just as well with black slacks at work as it does with jeans on the weekend or over a mini-skirt on a dinner date.
2) Dresses. Apologies in advance for stating the obvious. Dresses require more fabric than other items of clothing. Again, fabric is often the key to dressing smart. A cotton t-shirt is a cotton t-shirt regardless of whether you spend $95 or $12. Nobody is going to tell the difference. The same is not true for dresses. You can tell. Trust. Invest in quality. It will fit your figure better and will last longer.
3) Handbags. If you are vegan, skip to number 4. For all others, head my advice on this one. Pleather looks tacky. In most cases, so does patent. A handbag is an investment, but consider how many times you will use it. If treated well, it could last several years. I bought my Louis Vuitton five years ago and it still looks brand new. Regrets? Never.
4) Jewelry. Hear me out on this one. You don’t need all expensive jewelry. The key here is to mix inexpensive pieces with one or two expensive ones. If you have on one nice piece of jewelry, it elevates the status of your other jewelry. Invest in a nice ring, a nice necklace, and a nice watch. Mix them in with a few inexpensive rings, earrings, and bracelets. You will look like a million bucks.

Things NOT to invest in:

1) T-shirts. A t-shirt is an over/under piece. It’s usually under something like a leather jacket or cardigan. Occasionally, its over something like a bathing suit, in which case its coming off. Even if its not over or under something, its never the center of attention. And if you are going for a super laid back look, in which case it may be the center of attention, it still doesn’t need to be expensive. Laid back = low maintenance = inexpensive.
2) Shoes. Do me a favor. Go outside. Lick your finger. Touch the ground. Observe. Shoes are the only part of your wardrobe that will make daily contact with the filth that is outdoors. They get dirty. They get wet. They get stepped on. They step in/on unmentionables. They get scratched, scuffed, and stained. I know you are dying for those red-soled Louboutins, but they aren’t going to last you a lifetime. They may not even last a season. You know what will though? That Chloe handbag. Invest wisely.
3) Jeans. Everybody loves a pair of brand name jeans. But you don’t have to spend brand name prices on brand name jeans. There are tons of online sample sale sites that sell brand names jeans for a fraction of the price. Online fashion retailers have caught on, and if you get email notifications from companies like Saks, you can snag brand name jeans for upwards of 70% off during one of their many weekly flash sales.
4) Accessories. Your look is almost complete. You've got your skinny Seven jeans paired with a white v-neck tee and a black Helmut Lang blazer with a satin trim. You've mixed your DANNIJO necklace and Iosselliani ring with hoop earrings from H&M and two silver bangles from Forever 21. On your feet? Not those $800 YSL's you've been dying for, but a brilliant pair of Dolce Vita platforms that cost you $100. That means you had $700 leftover to put towards a Mulberry handbag. You feel something is missing though. A beanie maybe? Or a leopard skinny belt? These are items you can always snag on the cheap. Nobody is going to tell the difference. Besides, accessories like hats are usually trendy items that go in and out of style. They are precisely the kinds of things you don't need to invest in.

Happy Shopping Dolls!

*Written By: Gabrielle, a self-professed fashion junkie, and the blogger behind Resort Rock Sugar, leads a dual life. Quite paradoxically, she spends her days in a downtown highrise office building as a busy civil litigation attorney, but you wouldn't guess it if you peeked inside her closet. There you would find everything from fringe tank tops to short leather mini dresses, essentially nothing she can wear to her 9 to 5, err, 8 to 8 job. On the weekends, when she isn't discovering hot new designers whilst hitting up her favorite shopping haunts in LA, or taking in the brilliant fashion that is LA's scenester crowd, she is documenting it all via her blog, and probably from a prime seat at the Coffee Bean on the corner of Beverly and Robertson, because in LA all you need to do is step outside to get a little fashion inspiration.

QotD: January 31, 2012

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:03:21 -0500

HEY YOU. Yes, you. Stop being unhappy with yourself. You are perfect. Stop wishing you looked like someone else or wishing people like you as much as they like someone else. Stop trying to get attention from those who hurt you. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things, you wouldn’t be you and why would you want to be anyone else? Be confident with who you are. Smile. It’ll draw people in. If anyone hates on you because you are happy with yourself, then that’s their problem. My happiness will not depend on others anymore. I’m happy because I love who I am. I love my flaws. I love my imperfections. They make me “me.” And “me” is pretty amazing. ~Unknoown

Your question

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 09:53:35 -0500

Okay, this a question about how to move on. I was with a guy for only a little over 3 months, but before that we were close friends. I fell for him harder than anybody I've ever fell for. The biggest problem is that we were too much a like, both really stubborn and struggled to deal with our emotions, so we ended up arguing a lot. So he broke up with me before we had the chance to really figure out exactly why it all went crazy, but because we didn't want to throw away our friendship, we stayed friends. It's been almost 2 months and in the last two weeks I've been increasingly more upset over our break up. When we broke up, I was upset, but not all that much. I hardly cried, I didn't get angry and we were getting along quite happily.

Then suddenly, the whole thing seemed to hit me last weekend and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I've always been the kind of person that moves on super quickly, but this time I can't. I keep thinking about things we should be doing together, how much I miss him and every time I see him , I spend the rest of the day thinking about him non-stop. How on Earth can I move on?

Cutting him out of my life is not an option, because not only do we rely on each other's friendship...we also work together. I just need some advice, how do you move on from what I believe to be the love of my life?

QotD: January 30, 2012

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:19:42 -0500

This goes out to all of the people who have been broken, but have been strong enough to let go. For the people who have hurt so badly that they felt that they could never love again, but kept their head up. For the people who that learn from their mistakes and never stop moving forward, even when they take two steps back. For the people that wish loneliness wasn’t a part of them, but put up with it anyhow. For the people that are okay with taking up all of the room in the bed, even if it sometimes feels a little empty. For the people who wake up in the morning with no missed calls, but smile anyway. For the people who periodically miss the past, but are so much more excited for the future. For the people that have wounds still healing. For the people that have so much tied to their past relationship, but break those chains to start fresh. For the people that want to look back so badly, but focus on the road ahead. For the people that pick up the phone and are tempted to call, but keep their dignity intact instead. For the people that never wanted to let go, but had to. For the people that still believe in love even after all of the hurt their heart has endured. For all the people that gave up not because they were weak, but because most times, it’s better just to let go. For all the people that know you'll get your happy ending someday and it'll be better than you ever imagined. ~Unknown

7 Reasons Men Play Mind-Games

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:01:44 -0500

Have you ever dated a man who's a master at mind-games? You know the whole -- he's hot/he's cold, it's on/it's off, etc... If you said yes then girlfriend... we feel your pain. Ugh! It's horrible, isn't it? The headspins of confusion and frustration causing some of us to feel EVEN more emotional than a bad week of PMS. We're not dumb or desperate yet figuring out why he's playing gmaes can be even more confusing. Maybe he's a total jerk but more than likely it's because of one of the reasons below...

1. They feel emotionally insecure
Some men play games with women because they are emotionally insecure. He is not sure about how he really feels and hence feels that it is better that he plays games rather than expose his emotional insecurity to the woman he is with.

2. They are not ready to show their vulnerable side yet
When a guy is not sure where his relationship is heading and is confused about revealing his real self he begins to play games with the woman he is with. He wants to see how well she actually understands him and once he is sure of the way she will react will he be able to reveal his vulnerable side and stop the games.

3. They try to build intrigue
By playing mind games men also try to build intrigue. In the same way that women use the hard to get strategy, men use the game ploy. By confusing the woman they get her thinking about them to a point she where gets desperate to unravel him.

4. This helps in building interest
Mind games also makes a man interesting. A lot of women don't take interest in men who they can understand easily. A man who plays mind games with her begins to appear more intelligent than the others and thus holds her interest longer.

5. They just like to tease their woman
A lot of men play games with women because they just like to tease the woman they are with. They will blow hot and cold and totally confuse a woman about how they feel about her.

6. They want to project a macho impression
A lot of men want to project a macho alpha male impression. They do so by playing games with women. The more mind games they play, the more the women seem to want him. When a man is completely upfront with a woman she sometimes tends to get turned off. But an alpha male never gets turned down and by playing these mind games holds his woman's interest.

7. He just wants to see how far he can take these games
Some men play mind games just for the fun of it. They like to see the woman's reaction and see how far they can get away with by playing these games. These men generally are quite childish and do it all for a laugh.

Your question

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:41:01 -0500

I've had the same two best friends since I was 11. We are now in our third year of college (we all go to the same school) and I couldn't feel further apart from them. When we were younger, it was rare that a weekend passed that we didn't spend together. Now they both have boyfriends. And as soon as they started dating our time together slowly decreased. Now, the only time I see them is when they throw crazy parties, which I hate going to. I don't know if I should talk to them or just give up on ever hearing from them again. I wouldn't even know how to bring it up. Please help.